Thursday, December 10, 2009

Fearful Of Using Toilets

Sometimes a child will have all the other potty training skills but still ask for a diaper or a pull up to poop in. The diaper or pull up allows your child to relax. This emotional security is essential when pooping. Your child can be emotionally ready to pee in a potty or even stay dry through the night, but still need more time to feel emotionally ready to poop in a toilet. If so, be sure to empty the poop from the diaper into the toilet and let your child participate in the rest of the potty routine, wiping, flushing and hand washing. Reassure your child with a positive message that "ONE DAY HE'LL BE READY TO POOP IN THE TOILET LIKE MOMMY AND DADDY" and to let you know when he wants to try.

If your child is not asking for a diaper or pull up, use the ABC response to help your child feel safe letting go on the toilet. Acknowledge the situation. Start with a general description like "I SEE YOU DON'T LIKE POOPING ON THE TOILET." Wait to hear if your child can say what you can do to make him feel better. Balance your support by listening for the deeper emotional fears and offering gentle solutions. If your child is feeling like a part of her body is falling off or being take away to mysterious place, he needs time to comprehend the process.

Here's where flushing the poop from a diaper or the potty chair helps him gradually accept the new potty reality. A balanced response allows you to respect your child's emotions while still taking baby steps forward. Conquer the fear by telling your child that you can figure this out together. Sit with him, make a game of listening to the poop to fall into the water, and use your other potty games, like telling stories. Of course, the reason for the problem might be a physical difficulty with pooping while sitting on the toilet. Be sure your child can plant his feet firmly on the ground, otherwise, he may be having difficulty pushing the poop out.


Fearful Of Using Public Toilets

Public toilets require enormous adaptability from a child. Your child must generalize everything she's learned and apply it in situations where toilets, stalls, and bathroom all have a different look and different feel. The learning process requires your child to go from a very specific skill of pottying at home, to a general one of pottiying anywhere at any time. For some children, this is learned step by step, bathroom by bathroom.

Try to keep your potty routine as consistent as possible. Show your child He's doing the exact same potty steps, just in a different place. Remind him of all his successes. You might even light heartedly tell him He's used this bathroom and describe how he used to do it. Be patient. Although one day your child will make the intellectual and cognitive leap to seeing all bathroom are more the same than different, right now his focus is suck on the differences. Also watch for any negative messages you might be giving about public bathroom being dirty. You child cannot feel comfortable if you're grossed out and worried about nasty germs.

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